Light Moments

It's been a boring Monday and to liven things up, I thought, I'd post a couple of jokes here. It was either that or post another riddle ... LOL! Anyways, I found these pretty hilarious :D

Wife:
'What are you doing?'
Husband :
'Nothing'.
Wife :
'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband :
'I was looking for the expiry date.'

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

Stress Reliever Girl:
'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy:
'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl:
'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

A wife asked her husband:
'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
'I like your sense of humor.'

18 weird comments:

Nessa said...

Hmmm... is dat a 'subtle' mesej to Mrs Spiff?? I wonder... ekekekekeke

Mei Teng said...

Haha...nice jokes. I like #1. Thanks for sharing.

Spiff said...

Nessa - LOL! No la, I just found it funny ... hehehe ... It was either that or one more of my infamous riddles ... hahaha ...

Spiff said...

Mei Teng - LOL! Yeah, I thought they were hilarious too :D

anny said...

thanks for the funnies.. hahhahahaa.. sure lights up a blocked nose.. hahhahaha :D

err... wud u lend me ur ray gun? me nose is stuck.. mebbe a zap might unstuck it...

-_-"

Spiff said...

Anny - You're welcome :D

Urrmm, sure I can loan you my ray gun to clear your blocked nose but you have to be careful not to blow off your entire nose ... LOL!

anny said...

err.. didya see a red nose around here lately? urmm... its small.. and kinda a bit red.. and and with a burnt smell.. urmmm..

Spiff said...

Anny - I think Hobbes grabbed it la ... hahaha ...

anny said...

:o ops! that's the end of me nose... i'll be noseless... guess what the tiger is doing with it... :o

Spiff said...

Anny - LOL! Yeah, that tiger will probably eat it la ... LOL!

bem69 said...

I like the last one the best, hahah cool one. Sense of humour indeed.

Spiff said...

Bem69 - LOL! I thought that was a classic too ...

Emila Yusof said...

hahahaha

Spiff said...

Emila - I thought it was hilarious too :D

Aki (kotakitam) said...

Funny jokes! Haha.... the last was really good!

Spiff said...

Aki - First of all, welcome to my blog :D Yes, the last one was pretty hilarious. LOL!

Aki (kotakitam) said...

Thanks for the warm welcome Spiff...

Cheers!

Spiff said...

Aki - You're more than welcome :D Always glad to have a few more deranged friends over here ... hehehe ...