Of Coffee Cups, Tea Cups and Whatnots ...

OK, it's been a while since I last surprised Mrs. Spiff with a gift. No it's not her birthday and no, I didn't do anything wrong but once in a while I like to surprise her with stuff. I remember the last surprise I gave her a couple of months back. It was this nice Zorkian bug like head gear and urrrmmm, I don't think she appreciated it very much ... hehehe ...

So this time I was thinking of something that she would like and was mulling over a few gift ideas out there when it hit me. Why not get her some Designer Lingerie? Now that would be awesome. I know she likes the stuff and I'd benefit from it if I got her some Lingerie as a gift, if you know what I mean ... hehehe ... and besides she looks mightily sexy in it!

Now that was when my problem started. I'm a guy and just like all guys I only know how to look at women in lingerie and not buy it for them. So I headed for the mall and started browsing around the ladies under things department. The sales girls in there started whispering and giggling among themselves watching me try to pick out some lingerie for wifey. And I wasn't doing a very good job mind you.

Finally one of them came over and said to me,

Sales girl: 'May I help you with anything, sir?'

Me: 'Urmmm, I'm looking for some, urrmmm, sexy designer lingerie for my wife'

Sales girl: 'Okay brand are you looking for?

Me: 'Brand? You mean they brands for this sort of thing? Urrmmm, just something sexy will do, real sexy'

Sales girl: 'Ok, the maybe you should have a look at Boudiche and its Freya range. They have some pretty nice looking ones'

Me: (*with a look of total embarrassment*) 'Sure, whatever you say'

Sales girl: 'Well, what sort of lingerie are you looking for? We've got the designer lingerie kind such as designer underwear, bras, knickers, french knickers even swimwear, if you're into that sort of thing ...'

I swear she was enjoying seeing my face turn beet red with embarrassment!

Me: 'Urrmmm, you know, just the usual top and bottom thingys'

Sales girl: 'Ok, what cup size is she? With the emergence of these new brands, we've got cup sizes in the D+ up to GG plus'

Me: 'Look Miss, the only thing I know about cups are those that I drink my morning coffee in'

Sales girl: 'Well how am I going to find you a nice lingerie for your wife without knowing her cup size. You don't want it hanging loosely all over her now, do you?'

She's got a point there you know. That wouldn't look sexy in any way now would it. So making the shape of a cup with my hands I say,

Me: 'They're sort of this big'

That was when she and the entire group of other sales girls watching burst out in rambunctious laughter to the point they're practically rolling on the floor! You should have seen the embarrassment on my face. I wish the floor would have opened up and swallowed me whole.

I walk out of there as fast as my legs could take me. Looks like Mrs. Spiff isn't getting her lingerie gift after all. Besides I don't think she'll need it cos it probably won't stay on for very long anyway ... LOL!